... from a candy bar hotline? [Thanks, Nan!]

Call the Nestle Crunch Hotline at 800-295-0051. When you are asked if you want to continue in English or Spanish, just wait quietly for about 10 seconds and you will smile. Promise! Keep going and press 4. Listen to the options and then press 7. If you aren't smiling by now, check and make sure you still have a pulse.

iTunes is currently playing: Candy Everybody Wants from the album MTV Unplugged by 10,000 Maniacs.